Dear Friends,
By now, you’ve probably read at least a dozen blogs or notes about New Year’s resolutions. Put those aside. Try the following approaches:
BE KIND
By being kind, I mean it for yourself, others, and the universe. Lately, I believe they’re calling it “mindfulness.” In the U.S., we’re in scary territory. The lack of civility is noticeable. If you start with yourself, being kind means banishing the voices in your head that say you’re not enough─not good enough, not attractive enough, not smart enough, not appreciated.
Most people are not consciously out to hurt or harm others. Okay, I’m not a Pollyanna. There are bullies and wars. There are also inadvertent behaviors not meant to harm or cause pain to others. Be aware, mindful, of your own behavior. If you’re angry, examine why. Don’t take it out on others.
You may say to yourself, why is she (me) qualified to say this? I’ve been around a while, come from a family with psychologists (they always seemed to practice on the rest of us), and took a few psych classes myself. And I definitely mean no harm. I hold doors for people, smile at others when I pass them hiking, and say hello to others. For those simple efforts, you might be rewarded with a smile, a thank you, and a “hello” back. We are not alone in the universe.
MIND–the GAP
You may be saying, “What the heck does that mean?” It’s a British saying repeated often in the public transportation world. “The gap” is a literal gap between the train platform and the door of the subway or train car. I had to jump down over a foot at one train station! (With suitcase and backpack in hand. Not a lot of fun!) There were also level gaps that were more than a few inches wide.
They’ve been around a long time in Great Britain. Trying to retrofit the height of the platform with lower slung, or higher, trains is a costly proposition. I’m not making excuses for it.
In our world, minding the gap can mean the gap between your understanding of the world and how others perceive it. For instance, when I’m driving and need to change lanes to get to an exit, I should allow plenty of time to accomplish that. If I don’t allow that time, it may be because the exit has been under construction and things have changed. If I’m not in familiar territory when traveling, depending on signage, I may have less time to make the change. I’m not being malicious if I need to get in another lane. I do signal.
Also, remember that there are people with different levels of ability─to get around, to express themselves, to speak-clearly or in a particular language. If you can remember when you might have had a sore throat and it hurt to talk, think about that. People deal with all levels of health and issues in mobility and ability to express themselves verbally and physically.
Back to point one—Be kind.
DON’T RUN AMOK
What I mean by that is moderation. (I just like the expression “don’t run amok,” or “amuck.” The dictionary offers both spellings.) Moderate your behavior. If you want a cookie, eat a cookie. If you have a health condition and shouldn’t have the cookie (wheat allergies, for instance, or diabetes) then find a substitute that pleases you. When I was a teenager, my mother gave me milk and cookies after school. Somehow, they never came out even, and I just kept eating cookies until they came out even! Not a good approach to a snack or health!
Have an internal dialogue and don’t punish yourself! Decide what you want, but act in your own best interest. Now that we’re finished with holidays (until we hit Valentine’s Day with candy temptations), we might have fewer cakes, candies, and sweets around.
Make decisions you can live with. Be reasonable with yourself. Give yourself brief breaks and break your work up into manageable periods, like in half-hour intervals. Get up and walk around because it’s better for your health.
Meditate. Take a deep breath. Hold your breath for 7-10 seconds, then release your breath slowly. (I use this approach to fall asleep quickly. After 2-3 deep breaths, I fall asleep.) Your body will be more relaxed and better able to handle stress, decision-making, and other concerns.
IN CONCLUSION. . .
As far as New Year’s resolutions go, remember, it’s just a construct on a calendar. Are you really a different person because the date changed by a day, a month, or a year? (Unless you ignored what I said above about not running amok and overdoing it to celebrate the new year! 😊)
My husband read a survey recently that said that most people have ditched their resolutions by the end of 15-30 days. Live peacefully and you don’t need resolutions, just a plan that is adaptable when necessary.
HAPPY NEW YEAR OR 2025!
NOTE: If you have Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited, you can read my latest book, Love at First Sight, for free as an ebook, until just after Valentine’s Day (February 17). My gift to you!
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